Desteni Forums

I felt the need of digging on this topic

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=Hj_2eG9gm_w

cool video!
i am looking forward to you sharing how you stand up from within that construct!

carolina, i believe that what you experience is an intense version of what everybody is actually experiencing -in different forms and degress, or sometimes even unaware.
it's a fucking bi-polar world we're living in - wtf!

here is some self-forgiveness i came up with within my understanding of such experiences - of course to be seen as suggestions. change and/or add as required.




...as i enter the tunnel...
...suddenly i start feeling that a crisis will happen...

I FORGIVE MYSELF FOR ACCEPTING AND ALLOWING THE PATTERN OF 'CRISIS' TO OVERPOWER ME.

I FORGIVE MYSELF FOR ACCEPTING AND ALLOWING MYSELF TO FEAR 'CRISIS'.

I FORGIVE MYSELF FOR ACCEPTING AND ALLOWING THIS 'CRISIS', DEFINED AS THE TUNNEL, TO 'MAKE ME' POWERLESS, HOPELESS AND HELPLESS,

I FORGIVE MYSELF FOR ACCEPTING AND ALLOWING MYSELF TO GIVE MY RESPONSIBLITY AND MY POWER AWAY TO THIS CRISIS.

I FORGIVE MYSELF FOR ACCEPTING AND ALLOWING MYSELF TO FEAR BEING POWERLESS, HOPELESS AND HELPLESS.

I FORGIVE MYSELF FOR ACCEPTING AND ALLOWING MYSELF TO CREATE AND EXPERIENCE AS MYSELF AS THE POLARITY OF POWERLESSNESS/HELPLESSNESS/HOPELESSNESS AND CONTROL/SUPERIORITY/APPARENT STRENGTH - INSTEAD OF REALIZING THAT NONE OF THAT IS ME.

I FORGIVE MYSELF FOR ACCEPTING AND ALLOWING MYSELF TO SEPARATE MYSELF FROM MY EXPERIENCE OF MYSELF BECAUSE I FEAR AND JUDGE HOW I EXPERIENCE MYSELF.

I FORGIVE MYSELF FOR ACCEPTING AND ALLOWING MYSELF TO DEFINE MYSELF AS THE EXPERIENCE OF MYSELF.

I FORGIVE MYSELF FOR ACCEPTING AND ALLOWING MYSELF TO JUDGE ME BECAUSE OF HOW I EXPERIENCE MYSELF.

THE EXPERIENCE OF MYSELF SHOWS ME WHAT I'VE ACCEPTED AND ALLOWED MYSELF TO BE AND BECOME - YET IT IS NOT WHO I REALLY AM.

I FORGIVE MYSELF THAT HAVEN'T ALLOWED MYSELF TO STAND ONE WITH AND EQUAL TO THE EXPERIENCE OF MYSELF UNCONDITIONALLY AND BE THE DIRECTIVE PRINCIPLE OF ME HERE.


...in a second or two i feel anaestheticized....
...i can't move. i am still conscious but there is nothing i can do...

I FORGIVE MYSELF FOR ACCEPTING AND ALLOWING MYSELF TO ACCEPT THAT THERE IS NOTHING I CAN DO.

I FORGIVE MYSELF FOR ACCEPTING AND ALLOWING MYSELF TO LIMIT MYSELF - BECAUSE MAYBE POSSIBLY SOMEONE OUT THERE REALLY CARES AND WILL SAVE ME AND LOVE ME.

I FORGIVE MYSELF FOR ACCEPTING AND ALLOWING MYSELF TO BE THE VICTIM OF MYSELF AND THE ABUSER OF MYSELF IN SEPARATION.

I FORGIVE MYSELF FOR ACCEPTING AND ALLOWING MYSELF TO USE THE EXPERIENCE OF MYSELF TO JUSTIFY MY PERCEPTION OF ME AS VICITM - THUS UNABLE TO MOVE AND HELP MYSELF.

I FORGIVE MYSELF THAT I HAVEN'T ALLOWED MYSELF TO REALIZE THAT - IF I AM CONSCIOUS, THEN I AM ABLE TO WILL MYSELF, PUSH MYSELF TO STAND UP.


...i feel my mind entering the tunnel...
... i am unable to move out...

I FORGIVE MYSELF FOR ACCEPTING AND ALLOWING MYSELF TO SEPARATE ME FROM MY MIND.

I FORGIVE MYSELF FOR ACCEPTING AND ALLOWING MYSELF TO PERCEIVE MYSELF AS THE VICTIM OF THE MIND.

I FORGIVE MYSELF FOR ACCEPTING AND ALLOWING MYSELF TO GIVE MY POWER AWAY TO THE MIND.

I FORGIVE MYSELF FOR ACCEPTING AND ALLOWING MYSELF TO PERCEIVE MYSELF LESS THAN THE MIND.

I FORGIVE MYSELF FOR ACCEPTING AND ALLOWING MYSELF TO WANT TO CONTROL THE MIND BY BEING MORE THAN THE MIND.

I STAND ONE WITH AND EQUAL TO THE MIND.
I STAND ONE WITH AND EQUAL TO THE ENTIRETY OF ME HERE.
I DIRECT MYSELF AS LIFE.
I AM THE DIRECTIVE PRINCIPLE OF ME HERE.
I AM NOT ACCEPTING MYSELF TO ABUSE MYSELF.
I AM NOT ACCEPTING MYSELF TO BE DIRECTED BY THE MIND AS 'TUNNEL', 'CRISIS' OR IN ANY WAY WHATSOEVER.
I DIRECT ME HERE.

I FORGIVE MYSELF FOR ACCEPTING AND ALLOWING MYSELF TO PUNISH MYSELF.
I FORGIVE MYSELF FOR ACCEPTING AND ALLOWING MYSELF TO BE HARD ON MYSELF.
I FORGIVE MYSELF FOR ACCEPTING AND ALLOWING MYSELF TO THINK AND BELIEVE THAT LIVING MEANS EFFORT, MEANS STRUGGLE.
I FORGIVE MYSELF THAT I HAVEN'T ALLOWED MYSELF TO ACCEPT MYSELF.
I FORGIVE MYSELF THAT I HAVEN'T ALLOWED MYSELF TO EMBRACE MYSELF AS THE ENTIRETY OF ME.
I FORGIVE MYSELF THAT I HAVEN'T ALLOWED MYSELF TO LOVE MYSELF UNCONDITIONALLY.
I FORGIVE MYSELF THAT I HAVEN'T ALLOWED MYSELF TO UNCONDITIONALLY STAND UP AND STOP THE TUNNEL AS THE MANIFESTED ALLOWANCE AND ACCEPTANCE OF ME.



...when i am in the tunnel, i refuse to recongnize myself as such...

I SEE THAT I SEPARATE MYSELF FROM THE TUNNEL
THE TUNNEL IS 'MINE' BUT I REFUSE TO RECOGNIZE MYSELF AS THE TUNNEL...
HOW DID I CREATE SUCH PRISON FOR MYSELF?
I FORGIVE MYSELF FOR ALLOWING MYSELF TO SEPARATE MYSELF FROM WHAT I EXPERIENCE.
I FORGIVE MYSELF FOR ALLOWING MYSELF TO JUDGE HOW I EXPERIENCE MYSELF.
I FORGIVE MYSELF FOR ACCEPTING AND ALLOWING MYSELF TO CREATE AND EXPERIENCE THE POLARITY OF 'CRISIS' AND 'BEING OK / IN CONTROL'.
I FORGIVE MYSELF THAT I HAVEN'T ALLOWED MYSELF TO REALIZE THAT BY FEARING THE CRISIS I CREATE IT.
I FORGIVE MYSELF THAT I HAVEN'T ALLOWED MYSELF TO REALIZE THAT IF I ALL THE TIME DESIRE TO BE OK / IN CONTROL, I ACTUALLY STATE THAT I AM NOT AND THUS THE OPPOSITE POLARITY MUST MANIFEST AS 'THE CRISIS'.

I STAND EQUAL AND ONE WITH MY EXPERIENCE HERE.
I AM NOT ACCEPTING MYSELF TO DEFINE MYSELF AS THAT.
I SEE IT'S NOT WHO I AM.
I FORGIVE MYSELF FOR ACCEPTING AND ALLOWING MYSELF TO BELIEVE THAT WHO I AM IS LESS THAN 'THE TUNNEL'.
I FORGIVE MYSELF FOR ACCEPTING AND ALLOWING MYSELF TO FEEL POWERLESS AND LESS THAN MY EXPERIENCES.
I FORGIVE MYSELF FOR ACCEPTING AND ALLOWING MYSELF TO GIVE MY POWER AWAY TO MY EXPERIENCES BECAUSE THEN I DON'T HAVE TO TAKE FULL SELF-RESPONSIBILITY.
I FORGIVE MYSELF FOR ACCEPTING AND ALLOWING MYSELF TO GIVE MY POWER AWAY TO 'THE TUNNEL'.

I FORGIVE MYSELF FOR CREATING AN ADDICTION PATTERN AS ENERGY DEFINED AS GIVING UP/LOSING CONTROL/CRISIS AND SURVIVAL MODE.

I FORGIVE MYSELF FOR ACCEPTING AND ALLOWING MYSELF TO EXIST WITHIN AND AS SURVIVAL MODE.
I FORGIVE MYSELF FOR ACCEPTING AND ALLOWING MYSELF TO DEFINE MYSELF ACCORDING TO SUCH SURVIVAL MODE.

I FORGIVE MYSELF FOR ACCEPTING AND ALLOWING MYSELF TO DEFINE MYSELF ACCORDING TO ENERGY.
I FORGIVE MYSELF FOR ACCEPTING AND ALLOWING MYSELF TO DEFINE MYSELF AS ENERGY - IMPLYING THAT I NEED AN OUTSIDE SEPARATE SOURCE TO EXIST.
I FORGIVE MYSELF FOR ACCEPTING AND ALLOWING MYSELF TO EXIST WITHIN AND AS FUELING THIS ENERGY I HAVE DEFINED MYSELF TO BE.

WHAT IS THE TUNNEL?
IT'S THE 'LIFE' I'VE ACCEPTED AND ALLOWED FOR MYSELF - CONSUMING ME, OVERPOWERING ME - I AM THE VICTIM OF THIS LIFE.
'TILL HERE NO FURTHER!
I FORGIVE MYSELF FOR ACCEPTING AND ALLOWING MYSELF TO BELIEVE THAT I AS WHO I AM CAN BE OVERPOWERED AND CONSUMED.
I FORGIVE MYSELF FOR ACCEPTING AND ALLOWING MYSELF TO BELIEVE THAT THIS TUNNEL IS OF LIFE AND HAS POWER OVER ME.
I FORGIVE MYSELF FOR ACCEPTING AND ALLOWING MYSELF TO BELIEVE THAT THIS TUNNEL IS REAL, WHEN IT IS OF THE MIND AS I I'VE ACCEPTED AND ALLOWED THE MIND TO BE AND BECOME: CONSUMING THE LIFE IN ME THROUGH MY ACCEPTANCE AND ALLOWANCE.
I FORGIVE MYSELF FOR ACCEPTING AND ALLOWING MYSELF TO USE THIS EXPERIENCE OF 'THE TUNNEL' TO DEFINE MYSELF BY AND AS - BECAUSE THAT WILL JUSTIFY MY NATURE AS A 'VICTIM' THAT NEEDS TO BE RESCUED, LOVED, COMFORTED.

I FORGIVE MYSELF THAT I HAVEN'T ALLOWED MYSELF TO 'RESCUE' MYSELF FROM THIS EXPERIENCE.
HOW?
I SEE AND REALIZE THAT I AS THE MIND CREATE THIS EXPERIENCE.
I FORGIVE MYSELF FOR ACCEPTING AND ALLOWING MYSELF TO CREATE THIS INNER STRUGGLE WITHIN ME AS ME.
COMMON SENSE IS, WHAT I AM ABLE TO CREATE, I AM ABLE TO STOP.
I PLACE THE 'TUNNEL' HERE AS ME.
I SEE: THE TUNNEL IS BUT A STRETCHED OUT MOMENT OF THE POLARITY SURVIVAL-GIVING UP, BECAUSE I'VE ACCEPTED AND ALLOWED MYSELF TO SEPARATE MYSELF FROM ME.
WHAT CAN BE STRETCHED, CAN BE COMPRESSED.
I COMPRESS THE MOMENT AND BRING IT ALL HERE.
I STAND AS THE TUNNEL.
I AM THE TUNNEL AS THE MOMENT HERE.
FROM WITHIN THAT - I STAND UP AS MYSELF. HERE.
HERE I BREATHE.
IT'S NOT A TUNNEL ANYMORE.
I AS THE TUNNEL STOP.
I AM HERE. I FEEL MYSELF. I AM HERE. I FEEL MY FEET. I AM HERE. I FEEL MY FINGERS. I AM HERE.


...i feel lonely, abandoned...
...i am a castaway in my own mind...
...that's me in my tunnel... i must also be glad i survived...


I FORGIVE MYSELF FOR ACCEPTING AND ALLOWING MYSELF TO GIVE MY POWER AWAY TO FEELINGS AND EMOTIONS.

I FORGIVE MYSELF FOR ACCEPTING AND ALLOWING MYSELF TO DEFINE MYSELF AS LONELY - BECAUSE THEN I CAN JUSTIFY MY EXPERIENCES.

I FORGIVE MYSELF FOR ACCEPTING AND ALLOWING MYSELF TO HOPE FOR SOMETHING/SOMEONE TO HELP ME/SAVE ME - BECAUSE I HAVEN'T ALLOWED MYSELF TO HELP MYSELF.

I FORGIVE MYSELF THAT I HAVEN'T ALLOWED MYSELF TO EMBRACE MYSELF AND ACCEPT MYSELF UNCONDITIONALLY.

I FORGIVE MYSELF FOR ACCEPTING AND ALLOWING MYSELF TO WANT TO BE MORE THAN WHO I AM HERE.

I FORGIVE MYSELF THAT I HAVEN'T ALLOWED MYSELF TO UNCONDITIONALLY LET GO OF ANY IDEAS, PERCEPTIONS AND DEFINITIONS ABOUT MYSELF.

I FORGIVE MYSELF FOR ALLOWING MYSELF TO FEAR FEELING LONELY /TO FEAR BEING ALONE.

I FORGIVE MYSELF THAT I HAVEN'T ALLOWED MYSELF TO REALIZE THAT I FEEL LONELY BECAUSE I HAVE ABANDONED MYSELF. THUS ONLY ONE WHO CAN STOP THIS EXPERIENCE OF MYSELF IS ME.

I FORGIVE MYSELF FOR ACCEPTING AND ALLOWING MYSELF TO WISH AND HOPE THAT ANOTHER BEING IS EXPERIENCING EXACTLY WHAT I EXPERIENCE - SO THAT WE CAN SHARE RESPONSIBILITY AND I DON'T HAVE TO FEEL LONELY ANYMORE.

I FORGIVE MYSELF FOR ACCEPTING AND ALLOWING MYSELF TO BELIEVE THAT SOMETHING/SOMEONE OUT THERE WILL SOLVE THIS LONELINESS - BECAUSE I HAVEN'T ALLOWED MYSELF TO BE WITH MYSELF AND ACCEPT MYSELF.

I FORGIVE MYSELF FOR ACCEPTING AND ALLOWING MYSELF TO ABANDON MYSELF.

I FORGIVE MYSELF FOR ACCEPTING AND ALLOWING MYSELF TO SEPARATE MYSELF FROM ME - HAVING ONE PART ME GOING INTO A 'TUNNEL', THREATENING WITH APPARENT 'POWER OVER ME', AND ONE PART WATCHING AND FEELING POWERLESS.

I FORGIVE MYSELF THAT I HAVEN'T ALLOWED MYSELF TO REALIZE THAT I CREATE THE EXPERIENCE OF FEELING ABANDONED BY ALLOWING SEPARATION WITHIN ME.

I FORGIVE MYSELF FOR ACCEPTING AND ALLOWING MYSELF TO SUPPORT SEPARATION WITHIN ME AND MY WORLD AS ME.

I FORGIVE MYSELF FOR ACCEPTING AND ALLOWING MYSELF TO FEEL THREATENED BY A PART OF MYSELF WHICH I APPARENTLY CANNOT CONTROL - CREATING THE EXPERIENCE THAT I AM SURVIVING IN THIS WORLD.

I FORGIVE MYSELF THAT I HAVEN'T ALLOWED MYSELF TO STAND AS THE ENTIRETY OF ME HERE AND DIRECT MYSELF ONE AND EQUAL TO ME AS WHO I AM HERE.

I FORGIVE MYSELF FOR ACCEPTING AND ALLOWING MYSELF TO JUDGE MYSELF /OR JUDGE PART OF MYSELF.

I FORGIVE MYSELF FOR ACCEPTING AND ALLOWING MYSELF TO THINK AND BELIEVE THAT WHO I AM MUST SURVIVE.

I FORGIVE MYSELF FOR ACCEPTING AND ALLOWING MYSELF TO FEAR THAT WHO I AM WILL NOT SURVIVE.
I FORGIVE MYSELF FOR ACCEPTING AND ALLOWING MYSELF TO FEAR DYING AND NOT EXISTING - THUS I APPARENTLY HAVE TO CONTINUOUSLY STRUGGLE FOR SURVIVAL.

I FORGIVE MYSELF FOR ACCEPTING AND ALLOWING MYSELF TO BELIEVE THAT LIVING IS SURVIVING.

I FORGIVE MYSELF FOR ACCEPTING AND ALLOWING MYSELF TO FEAR LOSING MYSELF - THUS I ABANDON MYSELF TO JUSTIFY THIS FEAR.

I FORGIVE MYSELF FOR ACCEPTING AND ALLOWING MYSELF TO THINK AND BELIEVE THAT WHO I AM AS LIFE CAN BE LOST.

I FORGIVE MYSELF FOR ACCEPTING AND ALLOWING MYSELF TO BELIEVE THAT I CAN LOSE MYSELF.

I AM HERE.
I STOP MYSELF FROM EXISTING WITHIN AND AS POLARITY.
I EMBRACE MYSELF HERE AND I BREATHE.
I STOP POLARITY IN EVERY MOMENT OF BREATH.
I STOP THE INNER STRUGGLE.
I STOP FIGHTING WITH MYSELF.
I STOP WANTING TO SURVIVE.
I STOP FEARING A 'CRISIS' / LOSING MYSELF.
I SEE THAT WHAT I EXPERIENCE HAS NO POWER OVER ME BECAUSE I STAND ONE AND EQUAL AND DIRECT MYSELF HERE.
WHO I AM AS LIFE EXISTIS WITHIN AND AS THE BREATH.
I AS WHO I AM EXISTS WITHIN AND AS BREATH HERE.

Wow, the combination of the video and the self-forgiveness application presented together here manifests a collaboration that is a fully realized art work as self-honesty, self-forgiveness, and corrective application. Takes the "living word" and extends to "living experience" so that a living point of process is standing up as self as oneness and equality with all who experience what has been created in this collaborative audio/visual/verbal presentation.

This is simply awesome

Thanks very much for this

I wasn't sure how to do the self-forgivenes but now I see it clearer and I am sure that I will be able to do it by myself next time.

thanks so much

wow
very cool indeed
great assistance
all around
thanks

Hi processLife
I was doing my self-forgiveness on the points you recommended and when I finished and I had to do the last statements I got lost.
I am not sure what I have to state. Is it like a summary of all the self-forgiveness above?

lol carolina
you don't 'have to' state anything.

the last statements are the suggested self-corrective statements as how you actually stop and remain here as you, as breath, as your word, as the physical, here.

you will see for yourself.

seeing a condition for what it is =is the first step to for-give yourself to you and get to your self-honest point.
the actual forgiveness is the practical part: when you actually experience the condition to stand up from within as who you really are, stating who you see you are, and what you will not accept and allow.

patience. take it gently. it's not about forcing a solution, you are becoming the solution.

i suggest speaking the self-forgiveness aloud - voicing yourself - because in this you are speaking the words as you.
expressing and hearing your own voice is a great assistance in establishing self-trust HERE.

ok, thanks

carolina

I suggest you edit your first video at youtube through the userfunction and change the heading from first video to bi polar-- my experience

that will connect you with many with similar experiences

Done.
Unfortunately, I lost all the comments

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WwAD3FFRJUE new link to bi polar

awesome