Desteni Forums

When a partner turn the cold shoulder

who spite who?

and what is the partner actually already preparing to justify?

The one turning the cold-shoulder is only spiting themselves - as they're already preparing to justify the 'reason' / 'the why' for acting within the cold-shoulder manipulation - justifying their act within spite as the cold-shoulder manipulation through blaming the other for the reason to why they did it/ acted within spite as the cold-shoulder manipulation.

Then, if the other leave the one that acted within spite as the manifestation of the could-shoulder manipulation - the one that acted in such deliberate spite will in further ado direct anger towards the other for leaving them - when the one created their experience for themselves through spite = now, their world will reflect the spite they had become.

So, the being that was directing anger to/towards the other = is actually angry at/with themselves - because, to a certain extent they know/see they're the cause - them knowing that they're actually the cause is indicated through them attempting to fault the other.

One always show to self what self is, have become, do, accept and allow through what you project/direct unto others in thought, word and deed = and this is always done in spite - in the attempt to destroy another as you've accepted and allowed yourself to destroy yourself - wanting to destroy another as the destruction that you've brought upon yourself, as yourself that you've become to have the other feel/experience themselves exactly as you do - to in so-doing = bring them down to the level you brought yourself to 'feel equal' and in that perceived 'equality' = at the same-time gain a sense of 'domination'.

The fucked-up design of 'equality' through/as the mind-system as spitefulness.

MyKey

Indeeed, a tough one to face and stand up from -- because usually at that point one finds themselves completely alone and abandoned -- the reflection of how one has been treating oneself.

Wow

The last three days I have been going through this with Leila, turning the cold shoulder because I feel she has done something wrong, and deserves to not have fun with me because she can have fun with everyone, so it came to a point of jealousy and hate, and as I breath and see all of this and then tell myself to stop because I see what I am doing and that I am fucking only myself, and I have also seen all the justifications that I created in my mind and that I will tell her, when she asks "whats up", and they were, well I was tired and my body is saw, but that's bullshit it wasn't like that and after the second day I see more things, for example how I did this all my life in all the moments, especially with all the women in my life, and yes how I only fucked myself because I saw that I actually become that justification and live it, and because Leila is in process, This what I am doing isn't actually having an effect on her, or so it seems, and then it compounds and everything just comes back toward me more and more, and then my mind wants to kick in and make her see this reason why I am being spiteful at any measurements, and now I am just breathing and doing the opposite of what I am doing

Breath
Push through in the physical
Stop

I had this reaction today as well. I saw it as is was happening and could hear a voice justifying it while it was happening. In a way it is only possible to give someone a cold shoulder, if we are justifying it. Otherwise, how and why would we even allow it?